Don’t Doubt (I still got you)…

In John 20 we see that the disciples had just experienced the death of Jesus. The death of their lord and savior and I can imagine they felt helpless. So worried in fact that they locked themselves in a room to hide. They had expected Jesus to free them from oppression. They had expected Jesus to build an empire and take away their worries, but when Jesus died that hope seemed to die with him.  But as they were locked away, overcome with the fear of what was to come, Jesus appeared to them and all the doubt and worry was turned into joy. Jesus brought comfort and joy and it was a great experience for the disciples but one was missing, Thomas. I don’t know why he wasn’t there. Maybe he grieved differently, maybe he knew from playing hide and seek that it’s stupid to try to hide with a group, maybe he had just continued his life. Or maybe he wasn’t as afraid as the others. Maybe he wasn’t at the same level of perceived hopelessness as the others and didn’t think he needed to hide. I don’t know why but I do know that he wasn’t there. I know Thomas missed out on an amazing experience of joy. When Thomas got back with the other disciples I can imagine that all they talked about was their experience with Jesus. I can imagine that they kept bringing it up. And I can imagine that Thomas was getting tired of hearing about it. Tired of the experience being brought up and wondering why he missed out. Jesus had been with him the same amount of time. He had the same relationship as the other disciples. They had seen the same miracles and learned the same lessons over the last 3 years. They had even gone through the same trauma as they saw him taken from them. Why did Thomas miss out? Why didn’t Jesus show up when he was around? Did Jesus not want to do the same things for him?

I can sympathize with Thomas. I know what it’s like to see miracles in the lives of others and still be stuck in the mire of your own life. I can imagine hearing about the triumphs in other’s lives while still going through the trials of mine.  I can sympathize with going through the same deaths as others but not experiences the same signs of resurrection.

 I know you know what it’s like to see someone else get a job while you’re losing yours. Or the feeling of seeing someone else’s relationship thrive while yours fails. 

I can imagine how much it haunted Thomas to hear of the beauty in other’s lives when he couldn’t see it in his own. It bothered him to the point that he creates an ultimatum and says he won’t believe it until he experiences the same thing as the others. He’s tired of hearing about the good fortune of others. The disciples are elated. Jesus has not just brought them hope and peace, but he’s explained more of His plan of salvation and how He has actually won. They can’t help but want to share the same peace they had. They can’t help but try to give Thomas a taste of the same joy but this doesn’t matter. Thomas doesn’t want to hear about it. He wants to feel it for himself. He wants to see Jesus and experience what they have been so excited about, and I get it. 

But what I love about this story is how Jesus gets it too. Jesus doesn’t let Thomas’ brash and emotional decisions change His love for him. 

When Thomas is in the same situation the others were in when they saw Jesus, locked in a room, is exactly when Jesus appears. Jesus comes through the walls they have built up for others, through the protection, through the locked doors, and goes right up to Thomas with the same gift. Peace. 

Jesus came right to Thomas’s level and gave him exactly what he was in need of. The peace that comes from an experience. I can imagine Jesus appearing to Thomas’ amazement like yo Thomas, I heard about you. You still need to feel me? You still need to make sure I’m here? Jesus goes on to say, “don’t doubt. Only believe”. And I believe He’s saying the same thing to us.

Even when it doesn’t look like I’m moving in your life like I am in the lives of others, don’t doubt. Believe. Even when you are still stuck in pain and it seems like all hope is gone, don’t doubt but believe. When you feel like you’ve been left out and forgotten, don’t doubt but believe. When you feel like God doesn’t love you like He loves others, I believe He’s telling us, Don’t doubt, believe. Believe that I am still in control. Believe that I am still bringing joy to your life. Believe that I am still bringing peace to your storm. Believe that I am still working. Believe that I am still moving. Believe that I am still fighting. Even when the devil takes everything you had hope in, I can still come to your level and make things happen. I can still give you an experience like no other. 

It’s crazy cause the bible doesn’t actually say Thomas had to touch him to believe. Thomas just goes right into worship as soon as he sees him. Thomas thought he needed a specific situation to make him believe but Jesus came with exactly what he needed. All he needed was an experience and that same invitation is extended to us all. Jesus will show up for you too. It may look a little different. It may take some waiting. But you only need to believe.

Keep trusting. Keep waiting. Keep believing. 

Your experience is coming closer than you think.

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

Micah 7:7