Crazy Love
Read Time: 9 mins
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her”
Ephesians 5:25 NLT
As Paul describes the standard of love husbands are called to, we can understandably get overwhelmed. God is the epitome of love. There is no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend and that's just what Jesus did. Jesus actually took it up a step and laid down His life for people who hadn’t yet chosen to accept His invitation of friendship. The Bible says that maybe someone might think about possibly dying for a good man, but Jesus showed His perfect love by sacrificing for us while we were still sinners. Jesus decided to choose us in spite of us. He chose us before we were worth it, knowing we wouldn’t be worth it, and decided to dedicate His life to helping us. There’s no way we can be expected to love broken humans the way God loves us. Hosea was a prophet who married a known prostitute and continually bought her back from her pimp when she would run away. Hosea raised kids that he knew were the result of his wife stepping outside of their marriage. Hosea made a commitment to love an unreliable person, knowing they’d be unreliable as a sign of what God does for us. Like Hosea, God continually sacrifices and rescues us from the bondage we run back into again and again. God loves us enough to publicly choose and support us knowing we don’t have the capacity to do it back. God loves us in a completely unrealistic and concerning way. Jesus knew we would fall. He knew we were imperfect. He knew our future decisions would hurt Him and still chose to walk with us and love us regardless of our imperfection. That’s an unfathomable amount of love. And Paul has the audacity to call husbands to that standard?
God's love is different from a contract. In a contract if one party breaches an agreement, the other side can drop their agreement. But a covenant is different. A contract is an agreement but a covenant is a pledge. A covenant says I will still hold my end of the bargain even when you don't. A convent is a perpetual promise you vow to make even if the other party backs out. And this is what God has done for us. Even if we don't choose Him, He will still love us. Even when we do the things that He knows will hurt us and further separate us from Him, He still decides to love us and spends His life trying to win us back. And God is asking me to love my future wife like that? That is insane! But this isn't just about marriage. God calls us to love all people like this. Not husbands. Not just wives. Not just men, women, boys or girls. We are all called to make a choice of love like Jesus did and does and that is even more insane. At least as a married spouse I get to choose who I’m loving. But God is calling us to love all of our brothers and sisters on earth as radically as He does.
We don't trust people enough to love them. It does not logically make sense for me to love people. It’s dangerous and doesn't always have a good return on investment. But loving others is more about trusting God than it is trusting people. Loving others isn't just absent mindedly putting yourself in a position to be emotionally vulnerable. It's not just giving when you’re depleted and choosing people who won’t choose you back. It’s believing God is big enough to protect the intimate parts of you. Love is only possible when birthed from being fully engulfed and safe in Christ. Love takes the risk of stepping out and trusting that God will catch you. When you experiment with God's love you can take the calculated faith risk of loving others. Love isn't simply pouring yourself out until you yourself are empty, it's changing your mindset from scarcity to abundance. You can pour because you are filled. I'm not pushing for abuse by any means. I'm not saying to let people walk over you and break you. Boundaries are a part of love too. But I am saying that once we realize all we have, giving doesn't take as much from us. We can have more sympathy for the people we’re called to love and pray for those who persecute us. This type of sacrificial love is only possible when you have something to give. God is calling us to give love because of the love He has given us.
If we look at the marriages and relationships around us, we may not see this sacrificial standard play out. But God is calling us to a life that sounds crazy to live. God is asking us to push for a greater expression of love. God is asking us to love people like He did and marriage has the same expectations. All through the bible, God's relationship with us is described as a marriage. A public decision to commit to someone regardless of what they say or do. And Paul is calling husbands to love like that. The love in a marriage should be so pure and sacrificial that it resembles God's love for us. Others should be able to look at us and have an easier time believing that the love of God is possible because they see it. Our spouses and kids should have an easier time believing God loves and values them unconditionally because they experience a taste of it. Love is choosing to be patient, kind and unselfish even when people are more than just getting on your nerves. This should sound impossible because it is. You cannot produce a fraction of the love God has for us on your own. We only have the ability to love because the living embodiment of love is working in and through us. What makes God's love even more transformative is the fact that it doesn't just give you the power to love, it gives you the desire to love.
God loves us so much that He gave when we didn't deserve it, knowing we may never love Him back. And this love is what allows us to love others. Our love for each other actually shows others that God's love is possible. Love doesn't make sense. It’s only possible because of God doing a work in us to love through us. You can only love those who don’t always deserve it because He did first. You can only love those who turn their backs on you because He did first. You can only love the person He calls you to marry because He proposed to you first. He chose you knowing how wild you’d be and still publicly claims you as His. He loved you even before you loved yourself. And as we peel back the layers to understand how intense and powerful that love actually is, it will give us the power and desire to love others. Colossians says that the church of that day was known for their love for all people, and that love was made possible by the Holy Spirit and their confidence and knowledge of what Jesus had done and would do. Realizing how much God loves you powers and prompts you to want to love others. I know it sounds insane and is a standard of perfection we don't expect to completely hit. But the progression towards it can only work through prayer and dependence on God. He is the ultimate lover. Let him love through you. You need Jesus to produce this love through you. I promise you that you cannot do this love thing in your own power. Recount on how good God has been to you so you can know what it means to love others. Think back on the ways God has loved you so that you can open your mind on how to love others.
Trust God enough to hold you as you are vulnerable with others. If He provided before He can provide when He calls you to give. Trust God enough to lead you so that you know how to move. At the core of allowing God to love through you is trusting Him. Let Him move through you. We are called to a lifelong journey of loving people more like Jesus did.
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.”
1 John 4:7-12 NLT
My homework to you is to pray about how you can better love others. How can you better value, choose and appreciate God’s creation? That includes yourself, your community and even your enemies. Ask God to help you love because it is only birthed through Him.
After you let this devotional marinate and you ruminate on the word of God, I'm asking that you send this to someone you love. Tell them you choose to love them. No matter what ups and down come, you want to continually fight to love them. Love is a process that takes a God powered grit and determination but it is possible.
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