The More Broken The Better
Read Time: 7 mins
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28 NLT
Yall, I'm weary. I can literally feel the weight on my shoulders as I type this. I feel emotionally and spiritually claustrophobic. Friends tell me that they know when I'm about to preach because I get stress pimples, and I've had these pimples for weeks now even though I’m not preaching. But it’s interesting because whenever people ask how I'm doing, I struggle not to say that I have peace. How can I say that? Because I've learned to see weariness as an opportunity.
I want to point out a truth in our Christian walk that it is imperative you come to understand. Your weariness creates the best opportunity for you to find rest. Being honest about your weakness is a prerequisite to God bringing all you need. Coming to terms with your humanity is the key to allowing God to showcase His divinity.
I may feel attacked or vulnerable. I may feel the weight of fear, doubt, and embarrassment when walking in some of the things God calls me to. I may feel anxiety and pressure as feelings of insecurity and inadequacy creep into my world and mind. But I've noticed a concept that brings a sense of comfort even when I'm feeling the weakest. When I feel the smallest, God has a chance to show up the biggest. God often allows me to walk through things bigger than me so that I have ample opportunity to stop trying on my own and give Him control.
I seem to feel the most insecure and inadequate when God calls me into something bigger than me. But while I feel the weight, it often drives me deeper into the presence of God than I've been before that moment. God becomes more of my hiding place and refuge. What I’ve noticed about those moments where I am forced into my hiding place is that they quickly become the most impactful moments of my life. The best songs I’ve written came when I was crippled under pressure, hopelessness and fear. The best ideas came after bouts of depression, loneliness, and pain where I ran into the arms of God. And the moments of peace that carry me to this day came from the times when I was forced into my room for personal all-night prayer meetings. Even though it is hard at times to admit my inadequacy and lack, if I use it as a springboard back to God instead of an excuse to wallow in fear and insecurity, I find myself experiencing more success, accomplishment, and peace than I would’ve on my own.
Some of you can attest to this paradox that in your worst moments, you often end up finding the best peace. But others are missing out on the unexplainable peace and rest that God wants to offer because we are running away from pain instead of leaning into it. We are running from the reality of our current situation instead of boldly running to God. Some of us are missing out on what God wants to do because we won't have that hard conversation. Some of us are missing out on what God has to offer because we won't walk out into the scary places. Some of us are missing out on the rest and safety we have longed for because we see pressure as a problem, not an opportunity. Some of us are missing out on true rest because we won't admit that we’re weary.
We live in a world of ultra-independence where true honesty about our reality and humility is frowned upon. Admitting you are broken isn’t a negative sentence on your identity. It’s not a shot at your value or a gamble of your belonging to God. Your humanity doesn’t scare God. It attracts Him. Admitting your humanity is a starting place for you to find your healing.
No one wants to admit that they need help. No one wants to admit that they don't have it all together. We don't always feel safe to be truly honest about our reality. Maybe you didn't always feel accepted or loved unconditionally. Maybe you didn't always feel welcomed or that your feelings mattered. But let me remind you that you are safe here. You can be honest about where you are now. God saw the worst of what you could be and still loved you.
Now as with all issues, there are typically two sides who come from opposite directions trying to accomplish the same thing. We all need to be honest in order to receive healing. But the belief that we will be safe and saved if we are vulnerable enough to take off our masks and be honest is sometimes hard to grasp.
Some of you are struggling with this because you are having a hard time believing you’d be safe if you were vulnerable with God. And I want to remind you that no matter how much you were trying to put on a facade or filter, God sees through it and still loves you. He knows the real you and still wants you. It will be a process of unlearning the fear response of hiding from Him and learning the faith response of hiding in Him. But the process is worth it.
Others of you think this is a negative message because you believe I'm telling people to settle for their sometimes toxic patterns of humanity. While you are loved, you are called to growth. Your unaccounted-for immaturity shouldn't be a settling place but it should be an honest starting place. Don’t be like the horoscope queens who act like their consistent lying is okay because of their sign. Don’t be the people who make all of their character flaws someone else’s fault. Be honest enough to admit who you are and the responsibility you hold. You being rude isn't okay because you're an introvert and your spouse not being able to trust you isn't okay because you're an extrovert. That does need to be resolved. But if we expect people to grow, we have to allow them in the hospital while sick. Don’t gate keep Jesus and church by expecting people who are already healed to be showing up. It’s okay to be honest about your struggles. It’s okay to be real. That’s actually the prerequisite to healing.
When you are honest about the fact that you don't have it all together, you can allow someone who does to take over. When you can be honest about the fact that you are hurting, you can then receive true healing. When you're honest about the fact that you are lost and scared and lonely and embarrassed, you can actually be helped into a world of true peace and freedom. You have to be honest about your starting point before God can direct you to more. Don’t lie to the doctor about where it hurts when they’re trying to bring healing.
There's no need to be afraid of intimacy. John 3:17 reminds us that Jesus didn't come to condemn you. But He did come to give you rest. He didn't come to shame you. He came to give you rest. He didn't come to keep echoing the issues that you already find embarrassing. He came to give you rest.
Be honest about your starting place and allow Jesus to give you rest. It’s ok that you don't have it all together. It’s ok that you messed up. It’s ok that you don't understand it all. The Bible says that all who are weary are to be given rest by Jesus. Not just some or a few but all who are weary are invited for safety and rest. I don't care how alone, broken, or lost you feel.
Do you keep making the same mistake? There's rest for you. Do you feel embarrassed? Do you feel ashamed? Jesus has rest for you and isn't here to shame or condemn you. Jesus knew you before you and still chose you. He saw you naked and still loved you. There's no need to hide. You cheated? Go to Jesus, He has rest for you. You are questioning your sexuality? Jesus has rest for you. Can't control your sexuality? Jesus has rest. Issues with identity? There's rest. Feeling unsafe and unsure? There is rest with Jesus. Family issues? Financial crisis? Helplessness? Jesus is a refuge and strength. He’s a present help in times of trouble. Are you addicted? Jesus has rest and freedom. I want you to try Jesus for yourself. The Bible says that He is a good God. He is safe. I’ve tried Him for myself. I have the rest, identity, safety, peace, and purpose He offers and it's what gets me out of bed every day. Whenever I'm discouraged or I fall or I'm lonely or lost, I can run back to Him and be safe.
Don’t let people tell you that you have to hide yourself from God. Don’t think you have to have yourself together and figured out before coming to Him. He sees you and loves you. He sees you and has better for you. He has what you need. You can be honest about your current reality and find a lasting identity in Him. You can find belonging. He will never walk out on you. He doesn’t care how far away you walk or run. He factored that possibility in when He decided to pledge Himself to you. He knew who you’d be and still offered you rest. Don’t miss this opportunity. Your weariness is an opportunity to find rest. When you are lost, broken, confused, or ashamed, Jesus is the good father who will bring you acceptance, belonging, peace, joy, and love. Jesus will give you freedom. Jesus will give you an abundant life. Jesus will give you a new and better identity. Go to Him.
Don’t let the problems of life run you away from God. Use them as an opportunity to push you deeper into His arms. Don’t let the unknown run you away from Jesus. Use it as an opportunity for Him to make a way out of no way. My humanity is embarrassing. I hate how insecure I can be. I hate how much I wanna run and hide at times. A friend told me that someone said they wanted to be as “fearless” as me and I laughed in their face. I'm a scaredy cat. But I can tell you that any successes you've seen from me are all God. They came because I got out of the way. I’m a child who is dependent. When I'm honest about my reality, I find myself the strongest. I’m only confident because I'm rested in Him. It’s not me. He has an opportunity to make His strength perfect when I admit my weakness. So like Paul, I will boast in my weakness. I could easily hate how weak and broken I can be. But the Bible says this is why I was chosen. The Bible says that God intentionally uses the weakest people and things in the greatest ways. Why? Because us weak people know this isn’t because of us and will stay desperate for a connection. We know this isn't our own doing. We can be trusted with His power because we won't take the credit for ourselves. God uses broken people because there is no mistaking who is responsible for their success. God chose me as me and He chose you as you. God wants weary people. And He wants them to find safety resting in Him.
I'm realizing as I'm writing this that I started with Matthew 11:28 because you have to admit you're weary before you can receive rest. But I should have started with Luke 5:31-32 or Mark 2:17. Jesus didn't come for good people. He came for the people who can admit they’re broken. Jesus said He didn't come for the people who act healthy. He came for the people who have the realness to admit they’re sick. You can pick which one you want to be. Are you good on your own or will you admit you need Him?
If you’re weary He has rest for you. Use your opportunity.
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